Shawn woke up the next day feeling like complete shit. He hadn’t really slept that night either so it didn’t make much of a difference whether he felt like shit for being really tired or for the fact that he couldn’t sleep because he felt stupid for not doing something when he told Lassiter about the whole dating thing. It would’ve made Shawn feel a sense of relief, whether Lassiter pushed Shawn away or not. At least then I would know for sure. Shawn thought as he rubbed his eyes for the thousandth time that day. He was drinking a second cup of coffee when his cell phone rang.
“What?” Shawn said, silently cursing at himself for his irritability.
It was Chief Vick. “Mr. Spencer, we need you down at the station.”
“Whatever for, my good woman?”
“Just come down here. I’ll discuss it with you when you get here.”
“Alrighty then.” Shawn confirmed. After that, the Chief just hung up. “Wow,” Shawn said, pulling the phone away from his ear. “She’s a ball of fun today, isn’t she?”
He sighed, getting up from where he was sitting and went to his closet to find some clothes to wear. He decided on a pair of loose-fitting dark jeans and a red and white plaid shirt with some tennis shoes to match. He hopped in the shower quickly and then got dressed. He didn’t know why he was in a hurry. Something was just telling him he had to make it to the station as soon as possible and his instincts were never wrong.
When Shawn walked up the stairs to the entrance of the SBPD, a sense of overwhelming apprehension came over him. He debated on just going home and ignoring the Chief’s phone call. He could say he suddenly came down with something. All he knew was that he really didn’t want to go in there.
Then he remembered something. His instincts at the apartment had told him to get to the station as quickly as possible, else he miss something important.
Come on, Shawn, he silently willed himself. Just open the door.
But he was frozen, torn between listening to his instincts and his irrational panic. He stood there for some time until someone tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump and yelp in surprise.
“Spencer?” A familiar voice called. “Are you alright? You seem a little… on edge.”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine…” Shawn answered.
Lassiter opened the other door and started to walk in, but Shawn stopped him by grabbing his arm in an almost painful grip. “Spencer, I don’t have time for…”
Lassiter trailed off, noticing the look of sheer terror in the younger man’s hazel eyes.
“Don’t go in there.” It was barely a whisper, but Lassiter heard it nonetheless. “Don’t make me go in there.”
“Spencer?”
“I-I should’ve known it was him.” Shawn was shaking now. “I should’ve known…”
As much as Lassiter wanted to pull the other man away from his fear and into his arms, he resisted. “Spencer, you’re acting crazy. Come inside and clear your head.”
“No!” Shawn shouted, causing other officers to turn their heads. “Please, please don’t make me!”
“Spencer, calm down. What is there to be afraid of?”
Shawn stopped at that. Lassiter was right. The man wouldn’t do anything to him in public, let alone a police station, would he? Just to be safe…
Shawn took a calming breath. “Lassie?”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t make me go to the Chief’s office alone. Come with me.”
At the look in Shawn’s eyes, that desperately pleading look, Lassiter couldn’t find it in himself to say no. Whoever is in there to cause him so much fear… Lassiter let the threat linger in his mind.
Shawn and Lassiter walked into the police station and to the Chief’s office, though Shawn was walking rather close to Lassiter’s back. The older man ignored the strange looks they were receiving, only thinking of reducing the trembles of fear that Lassiter could feel resonating off the psychic. If that meant getting a few stares from the cops in the station then so be it.
“Mr. Spencer,” the Chief began. “Please tell this delusional man to get out of my office.”
Lassiter was confused. The man in question stood up from the chair he was sitting in and turned to face Lassiter, causing Shawn to cower in fear behind him. Lassiter, out of instinct, reached his hand around and pulled Shawn closer to him. This seemed to comfort the younger man immensely. “Who are you?” Lassiter asked in as polite a tone as he could muster.
The man held out his hand, though Lassiter didn’t take it. The man dropped his arm, smirking defiantly. “My name is Luke Ferrell. I’ve come here to speak with Shawn.”
“What’s your relation?”
“If you’re asking Shawn how I know him, then all I can say is we go way back. However, I’m sure Shawn here would love to tell you the details.” The man smirked at Shawn knowingly.
Shawn mumbled something incoherent, so Lassiter turned to Shawn, asking, “What?”
“Tell him to go away.”
It was a plea that only Lassiter heard. This caused something to click inside Lassiter’s mind that he would later wonder why he reacted the way he did, but it happened. Lassiter grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and practically dragged him out of the station. Everyone quickly got out of the way when they saw Lassiter towing the man towards the front doors. They knew never to mess with Lassiter if he was truly angry. It wasn’t very often that Lassiter got like this. Yes, he snapped at people, but he never let his anger get out of control as it was right now.
When he got outside, he pulled the man close to his face, letting him see the anger in his eyes. In a very threatening tone that would make even Henry Spencer jealous, Lassiter said, “Don’t you ever bother Shawn Spencer again. I don’t even want to hear that you’ve breathed in the same direction as him. If I find out that you went anywhere near him, I will come to you personally.” He paused. “And I never miss a shot unintentionally. Do I make myself clear? Good.” He then pushed Luke Ferrell away from him, not caring that he pushed him down several steps, and walked back into the station without a second glance behind him.
Meanwhile, Shawn and the Chief were in an uncomfortable silence. Finally, however, when the Chief couldn’t stand looking at Shawn with his hands wrapped around his waist defensively, she spoke. “Mr. Spencer, that man – Luke – made some pretty serious claims. Was he telling the truth?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Shawn said simply.
“Mr. Spencer, if you know this man”-
“Chief?” Shawn interrupted. “Please, can we drop it?”
Chief Vick crossed her arms. “Shawn, if this man is out to hurt you our department can help you.”
Shawn gave her a dark look that rivaled Lassiter’s. “Chief, as much as I would love to stand here and beg you to drop it, I’m running low on time today. Now I’m demanding it. Drop it.”
The Chief blinked. Whether this man was telling the truth or not, he had a history with Shawn and, from the looks of it, it probably wasn’t good. But, she dropped the topic anyways, knowing that it would all come out in due time. “Okay, Shawn. I’m sorry.”
Just then, Lassiter walked back into the office. Shawn turned to him. “Lassie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Lassiter was astounded. When, in all the years since he’d known the psychic, had he ever been thanked by him? Probably never. Lassiter thought. As he watched Shawn walk silently out of the room he wondered just what the relation between that man and Shawn was.
“Chief?” Lassiter called.
“Yes, Detective?”
“You’re not at liberty to disclose what that man said to you about Spencer, are you?”
“Privacy Acts. Gotta love ‘em.”
Lassiter paused, choosing his next words carefully. “What if I didn’t ask you as Chief Vick, my boss? What if I asked you as Karen, my friend?”
Without missing a beat, she said, “As your friend, I would tell you it’s not my place to tell you Shawn’s business and that you should get the information from the source, not from someone who heard it from the grapevine.”
Lassiter sighed. “You’re right.” He nodded. “I’ll be getting back to work now, if you don’t mind.”
Not at all, Detective.”
When Lassiter walked back to his desk, he saw Shawn sitting in his chair, staring at nothing in particular. He stood there, not wanting to jar the man from his thoughts.
Shawn’s face was scrunched as if he was deep in some inner conflict. He kept biting his lower lip, a nervous habit Lassiter noticed Shawn had picked up recently. He was messing with his hands, something the detective had come to understand as Shawn’s attempt at distracting himself from something serious.
Finally, Shawn looked up at Lassiter, noticing his expectant posture. He jumped up quickly, muttering a soft, “Sorry, Lassie.”
Before Shawn could leave, however, Lassiter pulled him back. “What?” Shawn queried.
“Come with me.” The detective ordered.
Shawn knew he should pull away. He knew that if he told Lassiter everything it might put the older man in danger, but he didn’t do anything. He just let Lassiter pull him into an interrogation room, not caring about the consequences.
The first question came as soon as Lassiter locked the door. “Who was that man, Spencer?”
Shawn gave Lassiter a half-hearted glare. “You know I can’t tell you that, right?”
“Oh, come off it, Spencer. You could be in danger.”
“What makes you think Luke is going to hurt me?” Shawn said defensively.
Lassiter rolled his eyes. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you were cowering and shaking when you saw him?” Lassiter took a calming breath. He didn’t want to sound angry. He didn’t want to scare Shawn away or make him become deflective.
Shawn truly wanted to tell Lassiter who Luke was. He wanted to tell Lassiter everything but the Gypsy Council would find out for sure. He knew he had to tell him something, but how?
Just then, an idea popped in his head. Acting quickly, Shawn asked, “Do you have a piece of paper and a pen, Lassie?”
Lassiter narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“Do you trust me?”
Lassiter paused, looking for any reason to doubt Shawn’s sincerity. Finding nothing, he gave Shawn his notepad and one of his pens. Shawn then proceeded to write down a date and a newspaper title. Upon handing the note to Lassiter, he said, “If anyone asks, I dropped that paper unknowingly and you picked it up.”
Lassiter looked at Shawn. “What am I supposed to do with this?”
Shawn smirked. “C’mon, Lassie! You’re the best detective I know. Detect!”
Lassiter felt his pride swell at Shawn’s compliment. He walked over to the door, unlocked it, and held the door open for Shawn.
Shawn smiled. “Such a gentleman!” He teased.
Lassiter rolled his eyes as he pocketed the note.
“Lassie?”
“Hmm?”
“When you find out everything, don’t tell anyone, okay? There are only a few people who know and I’d like to keep it that way.”
Lassiter nodded. He was happy that Shawn trusted him, but at the same time he was scared, scared of what he would find. “Spencer?” Lassiter called. When Shawn turned to face him, he asked. “We’re still meeting Hera tonight, correct?”
Shawn scrunched his face in thought. “Yeah, why do you ask?”
Lassiter looked away. “Um, because… I…” He was at a loss for words.
Shawn, however knew exactly what he wanted to say. “I’m looking forward to it too.”
The head detective smiled at the psychic, which made the psychic’s heart leap. “Well…” Lassiter said.
“I gotta go do… something. I’ll see you later?”
Lassiter nodded. “See you, Spencer.”
The detective watched Shawn walk away. As he did, he couldn’t help but look at the younger man’s ass. Blushing when he realized what he was doing, he turned toward his desk and pulled out the note to begin his search.
Meanwhile, Shawn was walking out of the building when he got a call. “Hello? Shawn Spencer.” He greeted.
“Shawn, how forgetful are you?” Gus greeted in return.
“Well, I’d like to think I’m pretty good at remembering things, unless you count Spanish verbs. They are impossible to remember…”
“Shawn!”
“Okay, I’ll bite. What did I forget?”
Gus sighed. “I set you up that doctor’s appointment, remember?”
Shawn’s eyes widened in realization. “Right! I’ll be right there!”
“You’d better…” Gus said and hung up.
Shawn shrugged. Is everyone mad today? He wondered. To his surprise, out of all the people he’d seen today, Lassiter was the only one who wasn’t snappy with him. He laughed. “What is the world coming to?” He said to himself. He then got on his motorcycle, put on his helmet, and drove to the dreaded doctor appointment, thinking, I’ll prove you wrong yet, Gus.
-
Back in the police station, Lassiter was still on the computer. He felt like he’d read the article at least a thousand times. He could practically recite it word for word, starting with the headline:
MAN SUSPECTED OF KILLING WIFE
A woman was found dead in her home yesterday, multiple cuts scarring her body and a final gash to her throat. The woman in question, Elizabeth Ferrell, was mother and wife to Shawn Ferrell and Luke Ferrell, respectively. The father, Luke, is currently the prime suspect in police investigations. Shawn, the son, is residing with Luke’s sister and her husband, Madeline and Henry Spencer. Shawn was also found with multiple bruises and cuts, most likely from abuse.
Lassiter leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his dark hair. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he stood up, not forgetting to close the window and delete his history. He grabbed his jacket, not caring to clean up the mess of papers on his desk, and left. Everyone was staring at him as he walked out, but no one, not even the Chief, would dare cross Lassiter with that look in his eyes.
Lassiter got into his car, driving to the one place he knew he had to be. If he wanted answers, he would go to the one person who could give them to him.
Once at the residence, he knocked, albeit impatiently, on the front door. The man who answered it looked surprised to see the detective, but greeted him all the same. “Hello, Carlton. What brings you here?”
“Hello, Henry. Can I come in?”
Henry nodded. There was something… off about Lassiter that he couldn’t quite place and if the detective came to him of all people then it must be pretty serious. Stepping aside, he granted the head detective access to his home, which Lassiter accepted. “So,” Henry began. “What’s the matter?” Noting the serious look on Lassiter’s face, his heart sped up painfully in his chest. He could only think of one reason Lassiter would come with that look. “What happened to my son?”
Lassiter looked at Henry, confusion written all over his face. “What? Nothing. He’s fine. I just saw him a few hours ago.”
Henry sighed in relief. “Don’t scare me like that, Carlton.”
“Sorry…” He said. “I’m just here to ask a few questions.”
Henry crossed his arms defensively. “Who are you here as?” He asked.
To most people that question would sound insane and unnecessary, but to a former cop and a current detective, it was a completely valid query. “I’m just here as Carlton, not Head Detective.” He answered.
Henry eased his stance. “Okay, Carlton. Ask away.”
Lassiter began to speak only after he had chosen the right words. If the Spencers had hidden this for so long then the subject was touchy subject, to put it lightly. He had to tread carefully. “Henry, do you know a man named Luke Ferrell?”
Henry noticeably stiffened. “Yes? Why?”
“He came to the station today asking for your son.”
The elder Spencer’s gaze hardened. “You didn’t let Shawn see him, did you?”
“I did,” Lassiter said. When Henry was about to yell, the detective held his hand up. “But I threw the man out of the station at the distress he was causing Spen- Shawn.”
Henry lessened his glare. “Thank you.”
Lassiter nodded. “Shawn told me some things about him.”
Henry’s eyes widened. “He did?”
“Well, not directly. He gave me a note.” Lassiter then began to tell Henry everything he’d found out in the past few hours.
Henry and Lassiter, during the discussion had made their way to the couch and sat down. Once Lassiter was finished with his explanation, Henry rubbed his eyes before saying, “I knew he would come back. I knew he wouldn’t leave Shawn alone…”
“So it’s true.” Lassiter said, more to confirm it for himself than for Henry.
“Carlton, you can’t tell anyone what you’ve found out. There are a very select few who know this information.”
“Why?” Lassiter asked. “Why keep it a secret?”
“Simple.” Henry said. “It’s only meant for gypsy ears. If a person like you, who found out this information because of Shawn being careless, were found out, Shawn would be in some deep shit.”
“How did you keep it a secret? Everyone at the station knows nothing. How did you keep it from everyone?”
“Well,” Henry started. “First off, the only cops who knew about the situation are either dead or retired. They knew I was adopting Shawn, but they really didn’t know the details. The only ones who did were my partner, the Chief, and myself.”
“I’m confused. Start from the beginning.”
“Okay, well, Luke, as you know, is Shawn’s biological father. Shawn’s mother, Elizabeth, used to bring Shawn over here a lot because there was a kid his age that Shawn had made friends with.”
“Guster.” Lassiter said.
“Yeah. Well, to put a family tree in your head, Luke is Maddie’s – my ex-wife’s – brother. You can connect the rest. Anyways, Shawn would come over so much that everyone assumed he was mine. After Elizabeth was killed, I guess I just took the role permanently.
“But you’re wondering how nobody at the station knows. It’s because everyone in the SBPD is relatively new. Even the Chief is new. They know nothing of the case.”
Lassiter was still confused. “Wait… Luke was their lead suspect. How did he get away with it?”
Henry looked angry. “Because the case was transferred to the gypsies and, at the time, the Council that ran the community was corrupt. Luke Ferrell was not a poor man, either.”
“So he bought them out.” Lassiter said. “But how did you get custody of Shawn?”
“After the trial, Luke just disappeared. When he didn’t show up to sign the papers I automatically got him.”
Lassiter nodded. “So let me get this straight. Everyone at the station doesn’t know because they weren’t involved in the case, and those who do know the details are either dead, not talking, or willing to keep it a secret. The only people who know that Luke is his father are Guster, you, Shawn, your ex-wife, your partner, your old chief, and me. Am I correct?”
“Not entirely. My partner was killed and the chief passed away a couple years back.”
Lassiter nodded. “Okay.”
Silence.
“How old was he?”
“Fourteen.”
Lassiter winced. Shawn lost everything at such a young age. “Did he see anything?”
Henry looked Lassiter dead in the eyes. “Do you ever wonder why Shawn is never sick around dead bodies?”
\ Lassiter nodded. “How much did he see?”
“Shawn was the one who called me to say his mother was dead. He said he walked home from school and found her in the living room.” Henry closed his eyes, holding back tears. “You have no idea what he was like when we found him. Shawn was curled up in a ball, covered in Elizabeth’s blood. He was unresponsive for months…
“Over the years Shawn became more talkative, but he also became reckless and suicidal. He never wore a helmet on that death trap known as his motorcycle. He also did things that caused him to end up in the hospital. I remember I almost lost him the summer between his Sophomore and Junior year when he thought it would be fun to go cliff diving.
“He hid his feelings behind a smile and childish behavior. His therapist said he acted that way because if he stayed a child, he would never have to confront his feelings like an adult. He’s also never been able to keep a steady relationship. His whole life has consisted of one night stands and flings lasting a max of two days.
“His visions were limited to visions of the past. He always saw his nightmare over and over again.”
“What was that?” Lassiter asked, though he knew the answer.
“Shawn knows who killed his mother not because he physically saw it, but because he’s had repeated visions of his father killing her.
“The visions killed him on the inside. These visions, his therapist said, were the core of Shawn’s problems. A few months before Shawn started Psych I pulled him off the roof of a four story hotel before he jumped. I honestly thought I’d have to put him in a hospital just to keep him from killing himself.
“But then… Something changed in Shawn. He stopped running away. He stopped skipping town whenever he got too scared or too attached to something. He actually stopped attempting suicide. It was the first time since he was fourteen that I saw him smile like he meant it. I can remember the day perfectly. He came to me practically jumping up and down saying he’d met the most peculiar person.”
Lassiter curiosity was peaked. “Who?”
“I remember the day perfectly. It was the day he went to the station to report the robbery or whatever it was. He came to the house saying that he was arrested. I couldn’t help but wonder why he was happy about that, but he ignored me, saying that he’d met somebody that made him feel normal. I don’t know what he meant by that, but I didn’t bother asking. My son was happy and I wasn’t arguing with that.
“I then asked him who the person was. Can you guess who that person was?”
Lassiter thought about that for some time. “I don’t know, O’Hara.” He guessed.
“No, Carlton. It was you.” At Lassiter’s surprise, Henry said, “I don’t know what you said to him that day, but he started acting human again. I used to think that the only reason he stayed around was because of you.
“When he got shot and kidnapped, instead of letting death consume him like he normally would, he kept going. He kept on striving for life. When we found him and rescued him, I couldn’t help but notice something that confirmed my suspicions. He stared at you, silently hoping you’d approve of him. When you told him exactly what he was hoping for, I could tell his spirit soared.
“I don’t know why, but he’s been attached to you ever since. He talks about you whenever he comes over with this light in his eyes that I had never seen since the kid was in diapers. I think I can honestly say you saved my son’s life and I can’t thank you enough.”
Lassiter’s hands were shaking. How could Shawn be attached to him of all people? He had to know. He had to find out.
“Carlton?” Henry started. “What are you going to do now that you know everything?”
Without missing a beat, he said, “I have to see him. I have to talk to him.”
Henry nodded. “You know he’ll try to make a joke to deter the conversation.”
Lassiter pondered this. “You know, I don’t think he will. He’ll want to, but he won’t.”
Henry just nodded. The two men got up and walked to the door. “I’ll see you around, Carlton.”
“You too, Henry.”
Lassiter drove to Shawn’s in silence. Not even his own thoughts were going. He just drove. Once he arrived at Shawn’s place, he walked up the two flights of stairs to his apartment and knocked.
“Door’s unlocked!” Shawn shouted. Lassiter took that as his invitation.
He stepped in and, for once, the place was clean. Shawn was currently in the kitchen scrubbing the countertops. He had changed from this morning’s outfit to clothes fit for cleaning. He was now wearing a white, form-fitting tank top and a pair of black basketball shorts. Lassiter watched in awe as Shawn’s muscles in his arms and back flexed and relaxed as he scrubbed. He stared as Shawn tapped his foot to the music playing somewhere in the apartment. Looking at the psychic right now made him doubt whether Henry was telling the truth about Shawn’s past but, as he studied Shawn further he could make out the small scars all over his body. How did I not notice it before? Lassiter wondered.
It’s because he was able to hide it under a façade of exuberance. Even you thought he was alright. You never thought to see the signs because he didn’t act like it, even when no one was looking. Lassiter mentally hated himself at that moment.
Lassiter was pulled out of his thoughts when Shawn started talking after grabbing a dirty plate from the sink to wash it. “Don’t worry, Gus. My appointment went great. I don’t know why you even stopped by. Didn’t I text you just a minute ago that Lassie”-
Shawn turned around and yelped in surprise, dropping the plate when he noticed it was not Gus, but Lassiter standing in his living room. The plate shattered into pieces at Shawn’s feet.
“Spencer?” Lassiter called as he ran over to see if any shards of broken glass had lodged themselves into Shawn’s feet. When he noticed nothing, he couldn’t help but start laughing.
“What?” Shawn asked.
“Your face!” He said between laughs. “Priceless!”
“Hey!” Shawn said, hitting Lassiter aside the head with his wash rag. “It’s not funny! You scared me.”
Lassiter, still smiling, said, “Sorry Spencer. I didn’t mean to.”
Shawn smiled back at Lassiter. Smiles truly were infectious. Shawn went to step over the glass shards, but Lassiter stopped him. At his questioning gaze, Lassiter simply said, “I know you. You’ll step on something. I’m sure of it.”
At that he stepped over the glass, standing alarmingly close to Shawn. Lassiter’s next move made Shawn yelp. The older man picked Shawn up bridal style in such a swift movement that Shawn had to grip Lassiter’s shirt and neck to hold on. “Lassie!” Shawn laughed. “Put me down!”
“Why?” Lassiter asked, a playful smirk tugging on his lips. “With the way you hang over me at the station I thought you’d rather enjoy this.”
Shawn laughs filled the detective’s ears with a sweet sound. “I don’t get married without a meaningful date!” He joked. “What if you’re a madman?”
Lassiter pretended to be thoughtful of this. “How am I a madman?”
Through his laughs, Shawn explained his thought process. “What if you’re a cop by day, but a crazy mass murderer by night? Well, that can’t be right… You stay after too much for paperwork… So… Maybe not a mass murderer…”
“You see? Not a mass murderer.” Lassiter laughed.
“Mass murderer or not, put me down!” He ordered, still smiling. Lassiter obliged, setting the smaller man on his feet. Once on the floor, Shawn went over to grab the broom, but Lassiter took it from him. “I’ll do it.”
Shawn stared at Lassiter. “You know, Lassie. I am capable of cleaning my own apartment.”
Lassiter snorted. “Of course! Says the man who let his laundry pile up for three weeks as well as his dishes a couple weeks ago.”
Shawn held up his finger. “Hey. In my defense that case was driving me crazy. That guy wouldn’t show up anywhere and he cleaned up everything so I couldn’t get a clear read on him.”
“Is that why you were getting snippy with the Chief?”
Shawn scratched his head sheepishly. “Was I that bad?” He asked.
“Yeah.” Lassiter said while beginning to sweep the shattered remains of the plate. “You kind of were.”
Shawn looked down at his feet. “Sorry… I should probably apologize to her.”
“I’m sure she’s forgiven you. After all, you did catch him.”
Shawn laughed. “Only because he slipped up! He touched that napkin and miraculously left his aura residue and I got a vision.”
Lassiter smirked while gathering the rest of the plate on the dust pan and throwing it in the trash. “Are you sure that it wasn’t you that slipped up?”
The detective laughed when Shawn blushed. “Just because I tripped doesn’t mean anything! At least I caught the guy…” He muttered.
“Yeah.” Lassiter agreed.
“So,” Shawn started. “Did you take an early day? It’s only about four. You don’t have to be her till nine.”
Lassiter’s expression turned serious. “That’s not what I came here for.”
Shawn’s eyes widened, his body going rigid. “Oh. That.”
Lassiter nodded. “I talked to your father.” Shawn stared at the floor, his weight shifting from foot to foot. “He told me everything.”
Lassiter stared at Shawn, hoping the psychic would feel it and look at him, but he didn’t. They stood there a while, the only noise in the room being the cheerful music playing in the background. Still not looking at the older man, Shawn grabbed the remote off the living room table and pressed a button, silencing the upbeat tune. He then gathered his courage and faced Lassiter. Sighing, he asked, “If you know everything, why are you here?”
Lassiter furrowed his brow. Why was he here? At Henry’s he was so sure of himself in the fact that he needed to be here, but for what? “Honestly, Spencer? I don’t know. I drove here with nothing on my mind. All I know is that I’m supposed to be here because when I think about leaving, my whole body is telling me no.
“I don’t think I came here to comfort you; I’m no good at that. Maybe I originally came here to tell you that nothing will change between us, but that would be a lie.”
“How so?” Shawn asked.
“Well, for one, when two people share a secret as big as this, a form of mutual understanding tends to bond the two.” Lassiter blushed at his statement, but carried on anyways. “I didn’t come here to lie to you, so maybe I came to tell you the truth.”
Shawn started to chew on his bottom lip. With a quivering voice, he said, “So you only came to tell me that we’ll never be the same. If that’s all, you can leave.”
Lassiter walked over to Shawn, not sure exactly why. He was just following his instincts. He grabbed Shawn’s hand, turning it over to reveal his wrists.
And the scars.
Shawn watched in uncertainty as Lassiter ran a tender tracing finger along the scars. Lassiter saw the insecurity flash across Shawn’s face as he looked down into the psychic’s hazel eyes. Eyes truly are the doorway into the soul. Lassiter thought. “Shawn…”
“Lassie, you can leave. You shouldn’t even be bothering with me. I’m just…”
“What, Shawn? You’re what?”
It couldn’t even be considered a whisper. How Lassiter heard it he’ll never know. “I’m broken.”
Suddenly, Lassiter realized why he was here. Everything he’d said was true. It had just come out wrong. “Shawn, I didn’t come here to comfort you. I came here to give you someone to talk to, lean on. I didn’t come here to lie to you, I came here to tell you the truth. I wasn’t kidding when I said things would change.” Lassiter took a breath. It was as if the right words were coming out of their own accord. Lassiter reached up and brought Shawn’s teary gaze to his steady one. He gently cupped Shawn’s cheeks, softly wiping the tears away each time they fell. “But the funny thing about change is that it’s not always a bad thing.” Shawn felt Lassiter reach a hand down to grab one of his wrists, bringing it up to his lips as he gently kissed the scarred flesh. “Shawn, you may be broken, but please. I’m begging you. Let me be the one that pieces you back together.”
Lassiter then leaned down and pressed his lips to Shawn’s quivering ones.
The younger man froze in surprise, but quickly came to. He wrapped his arms around Lassiter’s neck and kissed back just as tenderly.
The kiss was tentative at first, as if they were both deciding whether this was real or just a dream. However, as the kiss grew more heated, the two realized that this had to be real because no dream had made them feel this good.
Lassiter’s hands quickly fell to Shawn’s waist, pulling the man flush against him. Shawn tugged at Lassiter’s hair in his desperate attempt to map every part of the detective. Eventually, the older man had pushed Shawn against the wall, making the younger man gasp. Lassiter took this as his invitation to explore the man he had pinned to the wall’s mouth with his tongue.
Lassiter’s mind was reeling. Shawn’s mouth tasted like nothing he’d ever experienced. He tasted of pineapples and chocolate and something completely unique to Lassiter that could only be described as ‘Shawn’.
The younger man moaned as his tongue danced with Lassiter’s. He briefly wondered if he should fight Lassiter for dominance of the situation, but decided against it. He always topped because it made him feel safe, in control. However, with Lassiter, something was different. Lassiter made him feel different. He was actually relishing in the idea of giving Lassiter his trust instead of the other way around.
Somehow the two men found their way into Shawn’s bedroom. Lassiter kicked the door closed behind him, never once releasing Shawn’s mouth from his assault. The two fell on the bed, Shawn under Lassiter and completely at the older man’s mercy.
“Carlton…” Shawn moaned when Lassiter began leaving a trail of kisses and nips and bites down his neck.
Upon hearing his name moaned by the man beneath him, Lassiter let out a throaty growl, biting down hard on the flesh where Shawn’s neck met his shoulder. Shawn arched his body, causing their clothed erections to ghost past each other. This made the psychic gasp, his silent plea for more friction.
Lassiter groaned at the touch, not just from the pleasure but from the realization that both of them had too many clothes on. Shawn somehow got the message and began to unbutton the detective’s shirt after loosening his tie.
Meanwhile, Lassiter became busy with pushing his hands under Shawn’s tank, feeling the smooth yet firm skin on his bare fingertips and leaving a heated trail on Shawn’s stomach, making him gasp. By some miracle they were both shirtless, desperately trying to gain as much skin on skin contact as they could. Deciding it wasn’t enough, they removed all articles of clothing, leaving themselves completely naked.
“Shawn?” Lassiter breathed against Shawn’s lips.
“In the – ah! – drawer.”
Lassiter reached in and pulled out the bottle of lube. He was desperate to be inside Shawn, but he wanted the man to enjoy this as well. Lassiter coated his fingers and pressed his index into Shawn, carefully watching his reaction. He inserted another finger, feeling Shawn’s tight hole clench around his fingers. “Relax.” Lassiter said.
Shawn obliged as best he could, but with the way Lassiter kept scissoring his fingers he was going to go insane. He didn’t know whether to feel pain or pleasure. However, when the detective inserted a third digit into Shawn the psychic forgot all about the pain as he screamed in pleasure. Lassiter smirked. He’d found Shawn’s prostate.
As he stretched Shawn, Lassiter used his free hand to stroke Shawn’s erection, causing the younger man to gasp and start impaling himself on Lassiter’s fingers. When the detective deemed Shawn prepared, he pulled his fingers out of Shawn, receiving a whimper from the man beneath him. The detective poured a generous amount of lube on his throbbing erection, hissing at how cold it was. He lined himself up against Shawn’s entrance, but before he pushed in he asked, “Shawn?”
“Fuck! Carlton, please. I need you. Please.” Shawn begged. Lassiter didn’t need to be told twice and he slowly pressed in until he was buried to the hilt.
Shawn screamed in a mixture of pain and pleasure as Lassiter pushed himself in. The detective, as disciplined as he was, had to call forth every ounce of willpower he had to stay still and allow Shawn to adjust. Right as Lassiter thought he would go insane from the tight heat around him, Shawn gave him a blessing in the form of one word, “Move!”
Lassiter willingly complied, moving slowly at first. Shawn’s moans soon developed into screams as the man above him picked up the pace. As he thrust into Shawn, he found Shawn’s prostate again, causing Shawn to cry out, “Carlton!”
Lassiter grabbed Shawn’s neglected erection and began vigorously stroking him. Shawn, who was meeting Lassiter thrust for thrust, had started a mantra consisting of a series of profanities and the detective’s name. Lassiter had his own mantra, saying, “Shawn, so good, so tight.”
Lassiter, determined to make Shawn come first, somehow managed to thrust harder into Shawn, slamming into his prostate each time. Their pants and words that were once decipherable became nothing but moans and gasps and screams. Soon enough, Shawn was nearing his limit with Lassiter not far behind. The younger man tried to warn the other, but all that came out was, “Carlton!” and a scream.
Lassiter, however, knew that Shawn was close. His breathing was erratic, his screams were louder. So, he gave harder and faster thrusts and stroked Shawn even faster until he sent the man screaming his name over the edge as he came over Lassiter’s hand.
“Carlton!”
As Lassiter felt Shawn’s hole tighten around him as a result of his orgasm he thrust in two more times before he came, releasing his seed deep inside of Shawn with a scream of his own. With whatever strength he had left, he kept himself from collapsing onto Shawn.
The older man stared tenderly into his now-lover’s eyes, both trying to catch their breaths. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity before the detective pulled out of Shawn, who whimpered at the loss.
Silently, after Lassiter had cleaned his hand off, he pulled Shawn to his chest and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. He pulled the blanket over them, then held Shawn close. They were both so close to sleep, but Shawn had to say something. “Lassie?”
“Hmm?”
Shawn snuggled close to Lassiter, who just wrapped his arms tighter around the psychic. “I think I like this change.”
Lassiter just laughed softly, which made Shawn smile from the feel of the vibrations in Lassiter’s chest.
Slowly but surely, they two men drifted off to sleep, a sense of peace surrounding their unconscious bodies.
